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How to Manage Parent Stress During COVID

Added Sep 29, 2020 •

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hi everyone, my name is dr. Shannon McHugh dr. Jesse still talk to you she's going to be we designed to transition from traditional mental health teaching kids and families about mental health and wellness through physical activity and so we use a lot of different concepts for this Body Connection we talked a lot about us and also about brain development to teach kids in a kid friendly way to manage our job is to teach you guys about how to handle your feelings related to stress and Jesse you can explain your who you are and what we're up to yeah so I shall explain. Jesse I'm actually a graduate of uncertainty distance learning and so we have some tools that could really help manage some of the stress that comes with this new way of schooling right now let's get started so what we wanted to start with this talking about how covid Willie hasn't acted you as parents and obviously I'm sure you guys can think of a million different so first of all has given in that new roles has been developed there all sorts of rules of being kind of like a second teacher or being a full-time maybe not the role of your parenting Styles and school other social networks around spending so much time at home and its trying to develop the summer structure which issues or concerns in addition to the fact that there are all sorts of that are coming up and are going to get that we don't even really know about yet and so taking all of this into consideration the circumstances that repurpose them there's going to be a transition period where you're going to have to figure it out as you go and no one knows the answers to any of this you distance learning effectively how to actually work from home and be a teacher and be a caregiver and be another chef of the family and so you know really focusing on okay there's that's okay it really table focus on what you can control during this time so along those lines part of what we're here to do is normalized the fact that you're feeling stressed it makes sense that you're feeling stressed because everyone is feeling stressed right now and I think Terrence are in that area where they are the most stress because they have so many different people Asians but also the responsibility of trying to keep yourself together is even more so and so just trying to help you understand that you are not alone but he is feeling stressed right now and hopefully that's not really the case experiencing that is so unknown and unpredictable yeah I don't know of all the families that I work with Jean and I don't know if you've ever come across and family are like I got this exactly how did you just concerning I know how did you quarantine I keep my kids busy during this time it's like no everyone is struggling right now and it's not normal to have kids all day stop somewhere and so there's going to be important things that we will be talking about are the tips for each one of these little areas about how we can help you figure out how you can control these different things to make you feel less stressed in a situation like where there's so much that we can't control we can't control the virus we can't control the numbers in our community we can't control of the district court are any of those things we can't control is ultimately what we want to feel a little bit more decreasing stress yeah I know a lot of parents like to be in control because they're Dewar's right parents are fixers and doers and are have a lot of responsibilities and so feeling in control feel like you got it you got it all managed but it's really it in a lot of unknowns and so focusing on again but you can't control during this time is going to really make the stress levels go down a little bit so we wanted to give how to tips on how to manage stress hopefully this will help the areas that were talking about in particular are our thoughts or perceptions of different things are attitudes toward situation our actions so the things that we can do that to change our system around us the feelings were having with your all very valid but trying to figure out ways to reduce negative feelings ways to find the support or resources when you can't do it on your own we have a lot of different things that we like to think about probably the biggest and most important so the quote is for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so so basically what that quote means is our brain can tell us all sorts of things and if we believe the thoughts in our head about everything is going to be times that we're leaving something whatever you say will increase so if you can catch yourself always thinking about the negatives or the challenges then there's more of that so our thoughts create our reality so if we're able to understand how we're thinking about something and the stuff talk that's going through ahead we can change that we have control over that so we can more helpful positive more effective way of thinking about a situation so moron sauce soft matter so much because the thoughts are sausage directly connected to right if you have a more positive or hopeful thought is generally going to feel better about your situation if you spell a lot of time focusing on the negative on the left-hand column that instead of those are probably a lot of thoughts that a lot of parents right now are having why is this happening I'm feeling overwhelmed I can't do this I'm a failure but instead just waking up just a little like what Shannon said it doesn't have to be this like overly positive fakes thought it could just be like okay wait what I can just take it one step at a time human I'm trying the best that I can know I think everyone right now is learning and so even though small tweaks in the way that we talk to ourselves in automatically change the even looking at the left-hand column that makes me feel like really heavy defeated negative and when I read the right hand column that makes you feel a little bit more hopeful little bit more in control and a little bit more like you're ready to kind of keep moving forward and I think this happens a lot with even I know that I've had some of these it's definitely something that happened so it's not when you hear yourself say why is this happening you should be judging yourself about having that almost feel like a check in your mind that was the thought that to make me feel bad to help me see a better perspective so that I can get gratitude and being an attitude gratitude and so 1 practical exercise that I like to do and I was tell the people that I work with us to try it is literally writing down three to five things that you're grateful for that day hope you like a daily exercise what that does is it better but it also forces you to look for positive things throughout the day shift so shift your mind from this went wrong this went wrong so you actually really appreciated that you know I was on time for my Zoo now my kids didn't have a complete meltdown during distance learning or whatever it isn't even that little shift again but you in a better State of Mind and an easy one if everything is going wrong is that if we're healthy stay right where we are feeling really really fast anxious for stress our minds can just be stuck in a loop of all these things that we have to get done or that should have been done for a worried one of the easiest stocks that are making us feel also you might have heard about mindfulness or medication or things like that as a way to kind of like flax and get send with yourself kids and adults about this because if you distract yourself from your thoughts in a way connecting back with your body is a balloon in your brain is like going up into the air connections into your body against and help you stay on the ground and stay centered and stay focus on what's really happening in the situation is the best way to do that is by the tracking your brain by using your senses so the way that we do that is by noticing each of our five senses in a situation and then we can do with those senses to kind of help free director sometimes you put a screensaver on my computer or my phone cuz that's what we're looking for looking at a lots of even just that quick side of the beach or your favorite face you tune into that moment grab your attention and be in the present moment I love playing music around the house if I have to do like chores something like a non-preferred activity music calming music that I love Chandos and he served like aromatherapy essential oils that really grabs my my sense of smell on, nevermind yeah that's not good present moment eating healthy not only things that taste good but also is going to fuel your body and make you feel good is definitely self-care massage myself if I don't have someone that can do it for me but even just like really taking care of her body or if you have a pet bat in your your your dog has a grounding technique of keeping you in the present something that is super super important during this time is having I'm sure they're out the last five or six months. Has been something where you have to figure out a practical tips about making the most out of a routine making it super fun and as it DJ for kids new routine doing it together and that will help them next on the schedule kind of teaches them to be self-reliant as well we love visuals not everyone is an auditory learner and so having a visual cue them on the what's happening next is super important make it cute and fun and engaging keeping it very simple working with kids she don't have a brain. Just so they can only hold information to overwhelming for that. . right now especially with all the stress and everything going on and then what that's what we signed and research with kids and compliance is it once they really do get incentivized to do builders and then they just have better habits and they're able to do these things in life as an adult yeah I still make a routine and like it very helpful people are Bali bras for deep breaths and what that is it's kind of breathing in through your nose feeling your stomach up with air and then breathing out slowly with your mouth just like this video showing a lot of times we breathe like this she doesn't create a calm state in our body but this diaphragmatic a specific type of reading actually change state we teach kids about this source of our street and so if you're stressed if you notice that you're starting to have the feelings that come with stress that a question I want you to think about is like how's my breathing right and being able to really try to do more breathing your diaphragm belly breast pushing your belly out and breathing in and sucking it back into focus on what's going on inside your body can also be something to do as a family forest we wouldn't be learning burn without the emphasis on Byrne and XD but it's not just about exercising or distress Shannon has been jumping jacks let me know just get your heart movie again and then you can kind of focus on that so it doesn't have to be like you're running a marathon sprinting you know a hundred yards times like you to be so overwhelming and intended to be something very did you in the moment yeah and the whole thought process behind this is if your heart is racing for whatever. Of time your brain is going to think about your heart racing and not redirect away from stressful thoughts into your body which is going to help you so you feel as your heart rate goes down because your thoughts and your heart rate is definitely an easy way to almost shut off thoughts and your body and sometimes people experience he knows you're doing more longer duration exercise sometimes two people can experience part of your schedule or also actually is just like getting some more Health and Wellness and this is a unique one that not a lot of people know about but we love it is really changing the temperature of your body so you know when we're stressed again for kind of thinking about all the things that are making this stressed out but even just a simple thing like running your hand under cold water taking a warm cold water just to kind of give me that little jolts of Shifting the energy in your body is really going to help you to distract from all the stress balls off of your having can I get in the present moment and you know it's so simple getting out of your seed and having to wash your hands are running under cold water is going to get you out of that negative mind stayed and kind of shift it for you one of my favorite is going to the freezer and grabbing a piece of when I laugh when I say that but as you can imagine there's little piece of Isis. In my hands right jolts of tingling when you're angry if someone likes me distract you you're less angry about that situation because he's had a moment to distract your mind from whatever it was me having pool water might make you feel more refreshed right palm down your internal body temperature taking a warm shower or something then you can figure out another alternative we talked about how unfortunate is to not feel alone that everyone sort of going through this new normal until reaching out to others emotional support is so so so important I mean having to go through this is already difficult but having to go through it alone is even harder so now it's technology it it makes a fairy frases de connected you know simple tax sending an emoji gift for a simple Hi how are you can start that connection virtual Hangouts I've been doing so much of that no more can I say people in Hawaii buy it back at home then I ever have before and so it just because virtual hangouts or not normal seeing as how we hang out and so time scheduling. respect in South Carolina I need to know I like to feel connected with people I feel like and you forgot that you're also a human with until one of the things that I've been doing a lot to talk about with my friends to work out together so every day after work whenever we're feeling better in our bodies workday in the House Tennessee there are more emotional what kind of options life parent groups for example we definitely run parent and you can reach out to a lot of different options ways to get support from different resources that are tearing fruits that helps you kind of feel less alone that you know we can't really do anything order a social species that are really important for us to be able to teach people about communicating with others find super important is how to communicate your niece or how to communicate one of the ways Listen to I see you and I don't like it are we going to be defensive if that's the way that you which things on little bit to help people be less defensive or two wanting to help you verses a defensive and saying that they don't want to whatever it is because of whatever and I need whatever it is that you need so for example if you are angry about something that your child has said they would say I feel angry I need you to speak kindly and see what that does is it helps to first of all stuff is known as the ceiling first and then it tells what the situation was but then talks about a resolution zilog weather this is likely sad New Normal new expectations new unknowns and so become yourself remember that no one knows the answers is a lot of more questions and answers right overwhelmed it's okay to be frustrated but just be yourself in the process don't be so hard on yourself I know parents are expected to be Sixers and do her isn't responsible for so much that it puts pressure to be perfect to know everything but you're human as well and so this process and just take it one step at a time figuring it out that was kind of all of the Practical stuff in the house used in the chips that we have now what we thought we would do is give you some information about us company in the resources that we offer individual therapy adults likes kids so we have all sorts of opportunities for that if people need more one-on-one or family-oriented support groups that are designed with very specialized that we design ourselves to kind of promote mental health wellness and physical activity in team sports offering and also we have things like this what you call a learning lab which is more just like providing you information or Fern glass that we have developed that are more kind of active based activities all right and this is our contact information Shannon and I are so passionate about helping family children and adults during this time it's a lot going on in this world concrete tools to help manage a lot of the stress that were feeling a lot of the big emotions that were feeling so feel free to reach out to my house like this are learning and burning lungs. be additional resource for you during this time and we are so grateful for this again grad attitude of gratitude are so grateful for this opportunity to reach out to other parents out there so much for having us and I guess we're done for now we look forward to hearing from you guys if you have any feedback about

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How to Manage Parent Stress During COVID

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